I never liked fall because of all the sadness that it holds for me.

I don't know how often I'll be updating this page, or if I'll ever update it ever again (not that I do now). I'm trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be and using this time to try and shape myself. This leaves me to question if someone is a way that is undesirable, and they change, are they not being true to themselves? Why does no one object if it's a change for the better? If that person changes, are they not being themselves any longer regardless of their good or bad habits?

What shapes a person to be who they are? Does their upbringing dictate how they will end up being later in life or is that person responsible for the way they are? The easy thing is to blame my parents, but the person who I want to be wants to take responsibility for my actions. Or am I so self-loathing that I want to believe I deserve everything that's brought upon myself?

I'm not the person I used to be. I no longer have energy. I have no inspiration. I no longer daydream. I'm only 22 and I shouldn't be like this.